The Unquestionable Truth on Gender Revealed in an Apocalytpic Vision after breathing in the Fumes from the Bowels of the Earth

So, we think that because we "feel like women, inside" we know what it means to be and know how to be women. Well, no. I bet my ass there's no big difference between the ways men and women "feel inside" in the first place. And it's not more difficult to know how somebody else feels because they 're a different sex/gender/stop nitpicking, than because they 're just a different person to begin with.

But, in any case, "feeling like" something "inside" is no way to know what it feels to be that something inside and out- especially out. Nor is it such a big deal to find out as my mother and other genetical women, with some personnal interest in the matter, would like to present it as.

The point is, if you look like a woman, the world will treat you like a woman and so, you will live the life of a woman, no matter what you feel inside, even if inside you feel every bit as male as someone extremely male. If you look like a man... but, I trust you can connect the dots on your own.

There's no substitute for experience in things like that. I 'm not very happy with this myself, because it makes me feel my freedom is just that little bit more compromised, because, after all, what I 'm saying here is that you have to rely on other people's judgment and collaboration to define yourself as anything. But, yeah, sometimes you do. I mean, as long as you want to live in the same world as everybody else, you do.

I know it can get a bit frustrating, or a lot, and it might take time to realise how things work. I know most transexuals feel it's only fair to be treated as women since they know they are that, but it doesn't work that way. And no, it's not unfair. People aren't unfair in that respect. People believe what they see and their eyes don't lie. Just like yours and mine. And it's not biggotry either- I know lots of people who have exactly zero problems with me being trans, and who are perfectly cool going out with me in dead public, and call me the name and pronouns I 'm happy with, but still don't see me as a woman, because I just don't fit their experience of what a woman is.

Now, I know people will tell you that exactly this lack of imagination of ordinary people who mean nobody any harm is the root of all evil because it leads to a society that is unwilling to accept the different and blah blah blah, didn't I post something to that extent just yesterday? Well, no, not exactly. And the root of all evil is not the unwillingness of people to believe me when I swear to the whole ancient Greek pantheon that I am, indeed a woman, but, my own inability to accept the fact that, there is a very simple reason why, when they look at me they see not a woman but a guy who wants to be one, and that reason is that they are not blind. The root of all evil is self-delusion.

OK, so I don't believe in good and evil. But it's a very bad thing to do to yourself.

Anyway, there's no bottom line. I just wanted to talk about that because it's been a major part of the way I think about things lately... in short, I always realised I was being a bit more intense about some things than is strictly necessary and even though I thought I had mellowed down a bit over the years, I still don't have the cool perspective I 'd like to have. Somehow writing thouhghts like these down, helps me relax and look at the bright... side... erm, be more optimistic.

There's a funny, yet instructing, story behind all that and it includes a watemellon, but it's getting late and I won't have anything deep to blog about tomorrow, so, I 'll leave it for then.